"Mix and Mingle with us on Facebook-we're Chex-Mix". This was the advertisement on the side of my Facebook profile when I logged in tonight. Mix and mingle? Why the fuck is Chex Mix trying to get me to socialize with them? And furthermore, why does their ad sound like a pathetic tag line for a 1970's singles mixer? If I go to "mix and mingle" with them am I going to be doing so with meek, mousy women in their thirties with support bras and lipstick on their teeth and even older men with flaky dandruff despite the fact that they're balding, in white sneakers and stained brown pants?
I simply do not understand why a snack food product feels the need to not only harass me on my social networking site, but to do so with such a transparent marketing ploy. What asshole is really going to say "Oh boy! I like Chex Mix, clicking this link will surely enhance my enjoyment of this deliciously salty, crunchy snack". If you like Chex Mix you buy it at the store. If you don't like Chex Mix you don't buy it. Some dumbass ad on your Facebook is unlikely to change either of these facts. However, if you've never had Chex Mix then you've led a sheltered and hollow life and you're probably the type of person who would need to "mix and mingle" on a Chex Mix ad site. And if this is indeed the case then you should probably just go ahead and kill yourself because no level of snack satisfaction is going to change the suckfest that is your life.
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